Jeans...er, genes

So I have been spending sometime with my niece and her friends who are all twenteen …yes, for all you middle agers out there, yes this is an age group and you can google it ….or get friends in that age group!

As a self-confessed middle-ager, it was quite a shocker to learn what they talk about these days at that age. After spending a whole 2 minutes discussing the stock market, Robert Mugabe’s human rights record and the ecological impact of the BP oil leak, we quickly moved on to more important issues … how many pairs of jeans does a girl need.

They first began by tearing up into their mums’ wardrobes and I was mostly quiet because there was too much similarity with my own wardrobe and yet am ashamed to confess that I did not say anything in defense of those mums.

Then they went a notch higher and laughed about the efforts they had seen their mums make to beat the battle of the bulge, once again, I am ashamed to report I kept quiet because you see I have tried all those methods. We start small, by sipping hot water after meals before graduating to the big leagues, by the way, who began this theory of hot water after meals?? I have gone jogging in the morning only to quite after 2 weeks because the weather was not right...I have a weak chest you know. Then I tried skipping but my knees began aching and do not even get me started on diets … I have tried them all, cabbage soup, protein only, counting carbohydrates, no a bite after 6pm but they all left me jaded. So now am on a see food diet, when I see food, I forget my diet!

Finally, they talked about the pairs of jeans they own. I kid you not, the average twenteen girl owns at least 25 pairs of jeans. Some good ones for attending lectures, some cool ones for going out to hot parties, some really exclusive ones for first time dates, some ordinary pairs for the upcountry visits, some black loose fitting formal pair to wear to funerals and such sober occasions like job interviews, some for wearing when you are just hanging with the girls, some smashing ones in case you get invited as a guest to a function which will appear on TV and finally, a white pair for going to church.

Well, I represented middle-agers alright, I own all of 5 pairs. One that makes my legs look longer, one that makes my butt look smaller, one that gives my butt some lift, one that makes my tummy look flat and finally one that will still fit when all these aforementioned body parts refuse to co-operate.

Gotta run now, I have to shop for 21 new pairs of jeans … not sure what I will do with them or even when I will wear them but I will own them and am not going down without a fight!!

Blessing y’all!