Am a simple gal but lately the song in my mind and heart is how can I breathe with no hair...sigh.
So it began quite innocently.
My son would look at my old photos and see my hair before dreadlocks and comment on how nice my hair looked. I would go shopping with my husband and I would see him linger a bit longer near where they sell weaves and he paid more than a passing glance to the wigs.Before long, this was a regular stopover for both my boys when we went shopping.
You see, 2 years 9 months and 24 days ago,I began growing dreadlocks. Yes, it has been that long and as you can see this gal is an elephant when it comes to remembering details!
One thing you have to give credit for all the guys and gals who keep dreadlocks,it is not a fling. It is a commitment. I have a friend who has had dreadlocks for the last 7 years. In fact, I dare say that we nutty heads are not afraid of commitment...just check how long your significant other was faithful to his/her last hairstyle. Visits to the barbershop are still a sign of lack of commitment in my books!
Well, as I was saying ...with my boys lingering affair with the weaves and wigs,I got curious about the wigs/weaves and even started following them albeit reluctantly.The pressure began. It started in small almost unnoticeable ways...I started missing combing my hair. I began looking at combs longingly. I missed perming my hair, never mind that every time I did, I swore I would never do it again. The seed had been planted. It was watered every time I saw some nicely coiffured tresses.
So next time I went shopping with the boys, we stopped and fleetingly glanced at the weaves and wigs. They looked ok. Next time, they looked even better. Third time, they started looking beautiful. By the fifth time, they were whispering my name oh so sweetly. Before I knew it, I was paying them homage. It was not long before security dragged me out of the shop ... I guess they did not like the fact that I had built a shrine and was on the floor lying prostrate in worship adoration of a certain divine weave.
The stage had been set. I started noticing that my dreadlocks did not appreciate me any more. Even when I went to the salon, they would not say thank you. I washed them. Nothing. I treated them. Silence. I colored them. Zero. We never went out at all. They never took me anywhere and I was too tired to even complain. They had become fat, ok long, but you get my drift. We had lost our first love ... they were lingering very close to being cut and thrown as they were neither hot nor cold. Were they not being a fraud?? Or had they just become conceited? You see, everyone kept telling me how beautiful my dreadlocks were. I just thought they were, er, dreadful.
I almost dreaded them.
In the meantime, I would pass by and look at the weave every so often, well, when the guards were busy and I could sneak in to the shop. You see my picture was plastered allover ... MAD WOMAN.Weave (or was it weavel??) Worshipper scribbled with a red pen across my mug shot.
The weave would look at me and bat eyelashes. Then it got bolder and started winking every time I passed. Within no time, I would pass by there every time I left the hairdresser, er, locksmith and heard nothing from my dreadlocks. The weave would wave, smile, bat eyelashes. And then last week, when I was feeling so low, the said weave mouthed those 3 words every woman cannot resist.
"Please buy me."
I ignored.
Another 3 words.
"Take me home."
I started to falter.
Finally, I was putty when the sneaky weave whispered.
"I love you."
I do not know what happened but I had a weave in my hands by the time I got home.
And so yesterday I did something about it! No...I did not cut my dreadlocks ... I would take myself to the ICC in Hague for that would be a crime against humanity and yes, I am big and heavy enough to be "humanity" all by myself!
So now am having a holiday fling with a beautiful weave that has spank, attitude and it is great to have big hair. Move aside Dolly Patron, here comes Mama!
As for my dreadlocks, we are in counselling. You see our relationship is not over. I still love you. In fact am still in love. But you need some time off to change your mind. Embrace change. At least say thank you after being washed. After all, I do not hear any body telling you "You have a nice body." Yet all the time, my friends tell me, "You have great locks!" Could you at least er, carry your weight around. Wait, am already carrying your weight.
Hhhmm...now a certain hairstyle is giving me "the look"...
Blessings y'all!
