I seem to write alot about traffic. Maybe it is because I spend so much time seated in traffic. I have learnt that in Kenya there are some things that are becoming predictable.
If you voted for Sonko, his style of leadership will always mock you.
MPs will find always find a new way to shock you.
Traffic will always choke you.
Hhmm, traffic makes me wax lyrical!
Needless to say, I hate sitting in traffic jams and if I am going to sit in traffic, my anger or lack of it will depend on the reason behind the traffic jam.Let me explain, zero level anger if there are children crossing, I will even throw a patient smile into the package. Medium level anger for a driver whose car has broken down in traffic and if the driver is a lady, a pitiful smile she will recieve. You know the kind of smile that says, tuko pamoja (we are together) even as I comfortably sit in my car as she haggles with the rogue roadside mechanics. If the cause is a matatu misbehaving, I will have finally found an outlet for my pent up anger. My anger with my boss. My anger with my client. Did I mention I am angry that the Beckhams chose a ridiculous name for their baby gal? Harper Seven? Do not wonder where that comes from ... I have misplaced anger!
I even believe that traffic is mentioned in the bible. My bible says there is a time for everything. Yes, traffic was even prophesied … Be still and know that I am God. That verse has been so relevant when I have been tempted jump traffic lights.
So you can understand my frustration the other day when after having driven all of 5 minutes from my house I was caught up in traffic. Then I heard on radio that most of the roads in Nairobi had been turned into parking lots, the presidential motorcade was the reason for our nightmare. I seethed over how cops cleared the roads for the presidential motorcade even before the president boarded his flight from whichever country. I complained about how the president’s handlers should take into consideration all factors when confirming his itinerary and some basic ground rules to get us started.
Never should he leave State House on a Friday. Never venture on the road at the end of the month. Never should he go anywhere after 4pm on any weekday.
Does he not know what traffic the ordinary citizen goes through? Hhmm, do not even get me started on how that phrase “ordinary citizen” irks me. And my whining did not end in there, I gave it posterity … I posted it on face book! And so with like minded individuals, we whiled away time or was that whined away time? Well, I looked at my watch and only 25 minutes had passed.
And as I sat there, I began to make peace with my long wait. I told you traffic had spiritual sprinkle. I figured instead of getting angry, I might as well fantasize. And since I was going to fantasize, why not make it grand. I can afford that ….it may still be the only thing I can comfortably afford given the state of the economy any way!
I wondered what it would be like to be the president for a day. As I thought about the things that I would be able to do on that day, I quickly realized that this dream needed to be scaled. You see, there were so many things to do and being president for a day would not help anyone. After all, that day would all be taken up in the business of being sworn into office. A week would not be enough either, State House has too many rooms and I would need time to tour my home. A year would be necessary to just settle in to office and read all the books on protocol. Ok, I would not read them per se but someone has to read them and then brief me.
It occurred to me that it was totally unfair to give a president only two five year terms as per the new constitution. There would be sooo much to do and such little time.
And then I started thinking of the ways in which I would save time.
To begin with, I would never waste time sitting in traffic. I would have people clear the road for me as I attended to important state issues.
And then it hit me that it was exactly for that reason I was seated in traffic.
My anger dissipated. I patiently sat in traffic for 3 hours.
Yes, we are all culpable.
Speck. Brother’s eye. Log. My eye.
Blessings y’all!
